God Kisses In the Midst of Chaos

by Elizabeth Bennett

“God Kisses” I call them. Those tangible moments when I feel the Father’s affectionate eye twinkle on me… Unexpected. Sudden. Sweet. A reminder that He sees me, knows my every thought and desperately loves me! Lately, I sense Him taking me on a treasure hunt for them, teaching me to discover joy in unexpected places.

Thursday was Noelle’s 3rd birthday, Judah and I stayed up late the night before building her dollhouse. I’m telling you, I had NO idea how many pieces & parts there were to assemble when I happily clicked “Buy Now” on Amazon. I couldn’t have done it without him, and He glowed with pride as we worked together on her special gift.

I woke early, laying the table for a tea party feast. Looking forward to a perfect day. However my little man woke up positively green. He puked on and off for several hours, lethargic and pitiful. Yet in spite of it all , he was cheerful, before breakfast he smiled and said he just couldn’t wait to see how happy Noelle would be with her new toys. Later, Noelle tenderly wiped his forehead with a cool cloth on her birthday morning. Judah looked up at her and said “I’m going to be okay sweet girl.” When his tummy would settle for a few moments he would work diligently with her on her very first lego set (a princess and castle he gave her).

This sweet treasure of tenderness between the two of them warmed my mamma’s heart. They really, really LOVE each other! This precious sibling Love, was so selfless so tender in those morning hours. Together we built lego furniture for the dollhouse, and transformed ordinary things into magic with our imaginations. Hours laughing and smiling together. Countless God Kisses!

Then lunchtime hit, as I walked out of the happy haven of Noelle’s room my eyes took in the carnage of the day… and my heart turned to the urgent.

  • Wrapping paper and streamers strewn across the floor.
  • The couch with a blanket rumpled on it.
  • A Pair of soggy underwear on the floor startle my memory that the young one who had slept there the night before -had peed on it.
  • That triggers the memory of the 4 other locations that Judah’s tummy had emptied itself…
  • 3 beds to strip…

Breakfast is still out, dishes, china teacups and powdered sugar everywhere.
I start with the bodily fluids then move on to the kitchen. I hear a crash. One vintage teacup down. I suddenly notice how hot and sticky it is. My jaw tightens. A headache creeps in. Discouragement and frustration begin to drown out all the sweet moments of the day. Louder than the giggles and squeals of delight that are right there in the next room.

Why is it so easy to drop my eyes from the joys and focus on the chaos? If my heart attitude was gratefulness, then each of these simple messes could have reminded me of moments of celebration! Of sweet words of comfort spoken. Of smiles and snuggles.

I wish I could tell you that I adjusted my attitude right away. But I’d be lying. Nope! I pasted on a smile that I didn’t really feel and went to bed feeling “bleh.” As I lay in the dark I resolved that the next day would be different. I would put aside my to-do list and get out of the house. Just for fun, NO AGENDA.

Before heading out in the morning I randomly googled Tina Farewell (aka my Mommy), looking for an article to send to a dad who is looking into homeschooling. What I found instead was a video, I sat with my kids on my lap and was comforted and encouraged. I cried a few happy tears as the most influential voices of my life spoke through the screen. With the fresh perspective of a new homeschool mom I received such hope and joy. Then an unexpected God Kiss -Mom and Grammy working side by side in the kitchen. It’s the first time since my grammy passed that I’d seen a video of her.

Ah, there it is: PERSPECTIVE. Life is so precious! Every messy, stinky, hot & sticky, silly, fun, challenging, abundant moment of it.

Here’s the video, take a moment and breath in a God Kiss. Slow down, look for them throughout your day, write them down. Take the time to smile and enjoy each one.

P.S. The rest of the day was WONDERFUL, filled with thrift store treasures, library books and a divine appointment at the play park.

Published by Elizabeth Bennett